Monday is here at last!! (Think Im crazy??)
Its 7:52 am and all I can think is. YES ITS MONDAY!!!. Most people I know dread mondays. Back to work or school you must go. I, on the other hand, welcome in the structured days of sanity for my house. You see one of the most important things to a child with schizo-affective disorder is STRUCTURE. Thier thoughts and emotions are so jumbled that they need the routine of every day life to stay as close to identical as possible. So the weekends are our roughest time, because a major part of every day doesn’t happen. The kids don’t go to school. For an example of a weekend here, I will describe my less than stellar performance this past weekend.
Saturday morning my youngest two (who deal with thier own issues) went out to play. I played on my online game while my two teenagers slept in. Joey woke about 10. Sami, his sister a few minutes later. We only have one working computer and one tv with a dvd player. I can’t afford cable.. Anyways so Sami asked me to use the computer. I make the kids rotate with eachother for time on the computer. Each child gets one hour. Sami wasn’t on but 15 minutes, before Joey starts getting upset and growling. I ask Joey what is wrong and he launches into a long inaccurate rant about “hes asked for hours for a turn on the computer. When are we eating? Every body needs to shut up we are making to much noise” Now after having dealt with Joey for years I know I need to redirect him to get him to calm down and focus. So I start with feeding him. Every thing I suggest and ultimately make for him is disgusting. I suggest he play the playstation or watch a movie. I mistakenly suggested he could clean up his mess in my living room. HE procedes to tell me that he didn’t make the mess. That it was one of the boys. (This is extremely common because while Joey did make the mess he doesn’t remember it so he figures he didn’t do it) Joey continues to rant. At this point its about 12. (All I can only say I’m human )I lost it. I yelled back and told him everything that makes me frustrated. His sister and two brothers who had both came home by then got pulled into it. I felt bad afterwards but hey sometimes its what they need. Joey was apologetic and says, “mom all you had to do was ask”. Now you have to understand I do ask Joey and the kids to help around the house and such. Joey just never remembers. Luckily he wont remember mom losing it on Saturday. Well at this time I give him his turn on the computer. For the next hour, It was peaceful. No headaches no hassles. Afterwards Joey just decides to get his dirty clothes and put them in the washer. He doesn’t remember how to use the washer but he does get his dirty clothes together. Plus he got out his suit and got it ready for next week’s school dance he’s going to. Life is calm for about an hour or two, then Joey loses it again. He walked to our kitchen (for what I have no idea still) and came back to the livingroom angry. He starts his rants about everything again. This time adding in the rants about us never having money, or having a car, about he doesn’t care about the neighbors upstairs and he will just kill everyone. Again I work on calming him down while deflecting my son Michael (who is Adhd and PDD-NOs) from causing more grief by telling everyone what is the correct and incorrect ways of doing anything. I must say I threatened them with the lose of everything they hold dear. Not a good threat dealing with Joey. He freaked out. He thought I was gonna take away all his coping skills stuff. (I’d be dead before I would ever let anyone do that to him or myself) Finally night arrived. The fight over taking a shower or not began. Of course Joey won that one. He’s 6’3″ tall and weighs about 220. I can not pick him up and put him in the shower anymore.. Daily life skills are the hardest thing for Joey. After the battle of wills about the shower, it was the battle of wills on medicine. I must say I am excellent at winning that one. I won’t give up and I think he knows that. An hour later my house is quiet as all three of my lovely sons are fast asleep and only my night owl teenage daughter is up talking to her friends. Most nights like Saturday I lay in bed replaying the day wondering.. Was my choices right? Did I screw something up more? Are the kids safe? So that was my Saturday. Sunday ran along the same lines. Though for some reasons all three boys thought it was bash mommy day. And I heard everything I do wrong. Main one being I don’t have a job. They sounded like they were repeating everything thier fathers ever said about me.
Anyways Back to why I love Mondays. Monday morning while the kids drag a little they all get ready and go to school. For the next week its peaceful but busy time between 7:50 am and 2:45 pm. I have a lot of things to do while the kids are at school. I have to clean my house. Continue to do what I can online to make money. Deal with more government paperwork to make sure Joey gets on the waiting lists for different programs to help with his life skills. Call therapists, email teachers.. the list just go on. But while im doing that I’m not trying to keep WWIII from breaking out in my house.
While I am doing all I must do, Joey is in his routine at school. He does good in that routine also. He takes a shower there between first and second period. He has teachers and aides that assist him through out the day. Schools are very structured and for Joey its calming. After school its mostly steady around the house. Some days can be bad but for the most part we have a strict schedule that helps keep Joey calm.
So bring on Monday mornings and the time to rejuice my engines…