Sorry! We are closed was a sign I would have loved to have all weekend and today also. I’ve been sick with a bug since Friday. Being sick and a single mother is the pits add in a schizo-affective child and its downright a nightmare.
My lovely teenage children said “Mom you can rest and sleep. We will be fine.” On Friday. I thought, “great. Maybe if I sleep a few hours and drink fluids it will go away a quickly” My children had other plans. They would wake me up for anything including to answer the phone. Now everybody but my children ,I guess, know you can’t get restful sleep waking up and going to sleep constantly. About three hours into being woken up every twenty minutes for “can I eat this?” “Do you know where .. is?” “Mom can so/so come hang out over here” and other things I got agitated and said I give up. I got out of bed and tried to start my normal Friday evening routine of cleaning up the house. My daughter rushes into the living room and says mom you look awful go back to bed. Said can’t you all keep waking me up. She walks over and says, “Mom your running a fever. I promise to take care of everything and let you rest even Joey” Her biggest mistake is saying I have a fever in front of Joey.I go lay down trusting my daughter only to have Joey show up beside my bed. He wants to take my temperature with the thermometer. I agree mainly because if I didn’t he wouldn’t go away and because it wasn’t a bad idea to know what it was. My fever was 101.5. My son freaked out saying I need to go to the doctor if it goes any higher I will die. I had to patiently explain a 101 fever wasn’t that bad. I explain you don’t worry about a fever unless its 103 or above or lasted more than a few days. He understood, but he decided to watch over me. So he played on the computer and listened to music and talked with his sister all from the end of my bed. Again No sleep did I get till he went to sleep. Saturday morning my fever was gone with use of medicine and I felt fine for about two hours. I got very tired and went back to sleep. I couldn’t wake up fully all day long. My daughter was good about trying to keep the noise down from her and Joey but my cell phone was going off like no tomorrow. I still don’t remember what I said to half the people who called. As far as I remember Joey was glued to my bed with me since he was still watching over me. Sunday I woke up late. I had the total day planned to get things ready for the next week and was behind schedule. I made it up and out of bed. Took a warm bath. Ate brunch then had a pounding headache and the pesky fever and extreme tiredness were back. I laid back down and went to sleep until my kids woke me up arguing over who was doing what and when. I settled the argument by telling them to follow the schedule. Then fell off into never never land again. The next time I woke about 5 pm the house was dark and very quiet. Everyone was asleep. I ate a little and drank lots. then feel asleep woke up at 8pm from son saying If I didn’t get up and make him dinner he would starve. (Hes always so dramatic) I made chili and we ate and watched a movie before we went back to sleep.
This morning I woke up feeling a little better. I actually ventured around my house to wake kids up for school and I wished I just stayed in bed. My house was trashed. No one around here knows how to pick up after themselves. I still don’t feel well and I know Im gonna regret it, but I’m attacking the house while the kids are in school so that its back up to my standards. That is if people would stop calling me or knocking at my door.
Sometimes the hardest things to do are the easiest things to do. I know a lot of people take for granted the things the do every day like going to the store or taking a walk. Recently, we met with Joey’s psych and I was praising him for taking a shower every day without being told. Every day things are sometimes the hardest things for Joey to do.
I’m still very proud of him for taking showers regularly without being prompted. Yes he is 14 and I know most 14 yrs olds this is very common and easy. Joey it isn’t so easy. He used to hallucinate that bugs and such would come out of the spigot or drain. He also saw no point in taking a shower. Some magic switch was flipped and he just started doing it. At the same time he started doing his own laundry. (He still needs help as he forgets about washing underwear and socks) The only downside to being more responsible is the more prominent random irrational thoughts. Its very hard as a parent to decide the next step when you accomplish one but lost another that he had. You have to chose your battles extremely carefully to try to even out their lives.
One of those battles is whether to conquer a lost step or just start on a new one. One step we are working on again is to get Joey to go outside to take a walk or go to a friends house. He will leave to go to the store or to school. Things he knows what the outcome is. He won’t however go to see if a friend wants to hang out or to take a walk with no purpose. His anxiety on both are to high for him to currently manage. A lot of my decisions are made on how they will affect Joey. I don’t want to purposely be the reason he loses one of his steps hes already accomplished.
Some days I feel like we take one step forward and two steps back, but when we do accomplish things its such a great feeling. I’ve learned a very important lesson over time. Its very important to take pleasure in even the littlest every day accomplishment because there is probably someone out there who is having a very hard time learning to do it.
We will keep plugging away at the every day things even if they should be easy because I know for Joey they aren’t. I will also continue to praise him on completing those task even if its the 5th time we have completed it and lost it previously. He deserves it because hes not giving up as long as he keeps trying.
My words of wisdom today is be thankful for even the easiest accomplishment because to someone else it might have been the hardest.
2013 is here and with it comes new goals and dreams. Every year the kids and I make new goals for the following year. We never seem to stay on tract to the new goal though. With Joey, those goals are often thrown out within the first week. So this year I decided I will try something new. I still made goals for myself but for the family I decided we would have one goal a month to achieve an ultimate goal for the year. This way if we have to repeat a small goal because things go haywire one month, we don’t totally miss the goal for the year.
I am hoping that by posting our family goals as well as my personal goals it will give us another “person” to be accountable to and give us added incentive. In the past being accountable only to ourselves there was no joy for achieving a goal and no disappointment really in not achieving it either. I also want to show others that even with disabilities children can help set goals and achieve them as individuals and as families.
So here is our ultimate family goal for 2013. Our ultimate goal is to have family harmony in our living environment. By that we mean that by 2014 we will have a workable family schedule everyone is following, there will be limited fighting, and that everyone will be responsible for his/ her actions and jobs within the family. Now to obtain the ultimate goal at the beginning of every month we will set one goal we wish to obtain to help us get to the bigger one. So for the month of January our goal is that everyone follows the chore chart and does their chore daily without more than 2 reminders in a day. Please bare in mind due to the disability my child deals with goals have to be fitted to him so we added in the reminders. Every Sunday I will try to post on how we are doing towards our goal.
I have few personal goals I hope to achieve this year. One is to lose approximately 100 pounds. This goal I have been working on for a while and I am losing weight slowly. Another goal is to be self sufficient. Last year had been hard on us financially and so far this year isn’t looking any better. I am determined to find a way to earn money at home to financially take care of my family while I provide the supervision, emotional and physical help my children need from me. My last main goal is to run a smooth and orderly household. If you ever see my house or the chaos that can happen during one of Joeys episodes you would understand this goal. To many times I feel so ashamed of how my house gets when things go wrong. My hope is that if my home is fully organized and runs smoothly even during an episode things wont get to far out of hand and can be righted quickly. One goal I have is a purely fun goal and that is to save enough money to take a family vacation. My children and I haven’t had a family vacation in 9 years.
So here is to the new year and achieving those goals we have set for ourselves. Even if we do not achieve all we set out to do. at least we will be proud that we gave it a try.